Saturday, September 26, 2009

My Father...My Hero, and the Gift of Friends and Strangers

Growing up as a little boy in the Bronx and then later at the Jersey Shore, I always looked up to my father, as most children do. My father, Speros Zezas, was a bit of an enigma...tall, dark, introverted in some ways, very charismatic in others. He was always a pillar of strength to me. He had a temper and an ego commensurate with that of many strong Greek men of his day. On only a few occasions did we see my father cry...when he longed for his homeland and when he thought about his mother. He had his faults, but like our mother, he worked hard to make sure we had a sturdy roof over our heads, good food in our bellies, clean clothes, strong backs, a reputable name, and a sense of honor and fair-play. It was hard not to look up to my father. Like most fathers, mine was my first hero.

Eventually, as my father and I both grew older we became closer. He was one of the founders and a dedicated trustee of Kimisis Tis Theotokou Greek Orthodox Church in Holmdel, New Jersey. I was one of that church's first altar boys. In my teen years, my father and I attended church together regularly. In my early twenties, I worked my way through college in a nightclub band. My father attended most of my local shows and hung out with me and my friends. My father taught me many things about being a good person, about being a man, about being a husband and a father, and about being a gentleman. I carry most of his teachings with me to this day, and pass them on to my children. My father eventually became ill and in 1985 his life drew to a close, but not before he and I became best friends.

My father has stayed with me in many ways throughout my life. But, a series of unconnected events, or so I thought, unfolded over the last two years and brought him back to me in a very special and unexpected way.

Through a chance meeting at a business networking event at a New York City restaurant in 2007, I made a new friend. His name is Staz. Staz and I hit it off immediately, agreed to help each other in business and in life, and have stayed in touch ever since.

In October 2008, the world economy went off a cliff. Over lunch, another friend, Marty, reminded me of the career challenges that many white collar executives were experiencing, especially those in finance. Given increasing unemployment levels, many were experiencing real challenges finding work, selling themselves to potential employers, understanding and communicating their value propositions, and more. Considering my background in advising c-level executives, I felt confident that I could provide these executives with good insights and impart to them tools and skills that could enhance their careers, and hopefully their lives. Marty and I continued to discuss this issue over a couple of days, when I offered to create a presentation to help executives achieve their career goals. Marty encouraged me to complete the presentation and invited me to speak before a financial executive group that he led.

In December 2008, in front of Marty's group, I presented "Enough About Me, Let's Talk About Me!", a two hour workshop on improving executive communication, networking, relationship building, and more. The small crowd of very accomplished executives that Marty brought together was very receptive. After the presentation, a number of attendees asked if they could connect and network with me. Some even asked if I would coach them. Although I'm not an executive coach and had to decline those requests, I have stayed in-touch with a number of people who have attended my presentations.

Over the following few months, other organizations asked me to present "Enough About Me, Let's Talk About Me!", which I did as a means of giving to the universe and helping others. I started to generate a small following. My friend Staz learned that I would appear before a group of business people at Kimisis Tis Theotokou Greek Orthodox Church...my father's church...my family's church. He and another friend of ours, Dean, hurriedly drove all the way out from Long Island to central New Jersey just to hear my presentation.

As soon as Staz arrived, he began taking page after page of notes. Afterward, he told me that he was starting a think tank in New York, called Greek Synergy, which would bring people together on intellectual, emotional, and spiritual levels. Staz invited me to present "Enough About Me, Let's Talk About Me!" to his think tank. I readily accepted his invitation.

On July 22, 2009, Staz gathered together approximately thirty business people at Cafe Martinique in New York to hear my presentation. This was a sophisticated group, and many attendees actively participated in the lively discussion. Angelike (An-gel-e-key), a reporter from The National Herald newspaper attended the event. She took many notes and snapped photos the entire night. Angelike spent a few moments with me before the presentation began, asking the Who? What? and Why? questions that are typical of news reporters. The presentation at Staz's think tank was a huge success, and after more than two hours we closed the event and said goodnight. Staz and I both felt fulfilled for having helped so many people. We were exhausted.

About two weeks after the Cafe Martinique event, I began receiving congratulatory phone calls and emails pertaining to the article that appeared in The National Herald newspaper about my presentation at the Greek Synergy event. Since I hadn't yet seen the article, I asked a friend to forward it to me. The newspaper reporter had written a very complimentary story, both about my presentation and about Greek Synergy. She did a fine job in capturing the essence of the message I sought to deliver and the drive behind Staz's vision. Her article brought a smile to my face. My wife even giggled when we read the reporter's quote about how I had presented my thoughts and ideas with a "super hero-like voice!". You can't pay for lines like that!

A week or so later, I received a phone call from a broadcaster named Amalia from COSMOS FM Greek Public Radio in Long Island, New York. Amalia said she had read The National Herald article, and invited me to appear on a live radio broadcast to discuss the event and share my ideas. Amalia thought we could use the power of radio to help even more people. Thinking that a live radio program could be fun, I agreed. On the prescribed night, I called into the radio station and we went live. Between answering Amalia's questions and fielding calls from people seeking guidance about their careers, I felt great. The live interview lasted about forty-five minutes.

About an hour after the broadcast, I received an email from a man named Dinos, whose name I did not recognize. In his email, he wrote that he'd heard the COSMOS FM broadcast, thanked me for appearing, and complimented me for sharing my ideas and for working to help others. Dinos also wrote that my name sounded familiar to him. He asked if I was the son of Speros Zezas, the man who, many years ago, ran Micro Instrument Company in Brooklyn, NY. Dinos wrote that if Speros was my father, he hoped to speak with me. He went on in his email to say that he'd come to the United States in the 1970's, that my father hired him and gave him a career. Dinos wanted to thank me.

I returned Dinos's email, confirming that Speros was my father, that we loved him very much, that he was a great man, and that we had lost him in 1985. I wished Dinos well and thanked him for his kind words about me and my dear father. Dinos emailed me again that night, and we continued to email back and forth for the next hour or so. I walked out of my office that evening with tears in my eyes, having felt great for possibly helping some people find their way that evening, but also for having heard that a stranger thought so well of my father. I looked up at the night sky full of stars and said "Pop, you're still here." and drove home to kiss my wife and two children good-night.

When I arrived at my home, I was so excited, that I kept everyone awake telling them about the radio broadcast, the email I'd received about my father, and what a great experience I'd had that night. My wife, daughter, and son, all shared my joy.

The next day, Dinos called my office to introduce himself to me. He was a reserved and humble man, with a thick Greek accent. Dinos was about 8 years older than me and proceeded to tell me the story of how he'd met my father and worked for him in the 1970s. He said that he'd come to the United States with no job prospects, no education or training, and an uncertain future. Dinos first took a job in the kitchen at a New York diner. When my father met him, he noticed a spark in Dinos and hired him right away to work in his tool and die engineering and manufacturing business.

I suspect that my father may have seen a little of himself in Dinos. When my father first arrived in the United States, he too had no connections and few prospects, despite having been trained as a machinist and engineer in the Greek Merchant Navy.

Almost immediately after hiring him, my father sensed that Dinos had a knack for engineering and encouraged him to go to school to obtain a college degree. After two years as my father's apprentice, he left the company and attended a university in New York to pursue an education in engineering.

In a humble, yet confident voice, Dinos told me that he had earned that engineering degree, and for more than thirty years had enjoyed a career and a life that he never expected he would have. He told me of his family and proudly said that he was currently employed at a Long Island engineering company that designs sophisticated componentry for NASA. Dinos said that had he not met my father, he would not have achieved what he had in his career or his life. Dinos then said something that, even as I write this now, still brings tears to my eyes. This man, who I had never met, who had only heard about my brothers and me in conversations with my father, who by chance happened to hear my last name on a radio broadcast, who recognized my name and took the initiative to contact me, told me that my father, Speros Zezas, was his hero...too.

For a moment I couldn't speak. Dinos then asked me for one simple favor. He asked if I would send him a photo of my father, so he could frame it and put it on his desk. I got all choked-up and agreed to send him that photo.

As a young boy, my father was my first real hero. As he battled cancer, my father demonstrated courage and heroism, despite knowing that he would eventually lose that fight. Two and a half decades later, when an excited and very kind man heard my last name, my father's name, on a New York public radio broadcast and shared with me the wonderful life that he had built for himself and his family with my father's help from thirty years earlier, I was reminded again about the hero my father was to me as I was growing up, and now knew that he was also equally important to someone else. That night my father, Speros Zezas, became my hero all over again.

They say that nothing happens by coincidence and that the universe has a way of balancing itself out. For more than thirty years, my father has been Dinos's hero, and I never knew that. Had Marty not invited me to develop "Enough About Me, Let's Talk About Me!", had Staz not asked me to present in New York, had Angelike not written such a great article, had Amalia not invited me to appear on the radio, and had Dinos not heard my father's name and called me, I would not have learned that while my father was my first and constant hero, he was also someone else's hero...I would not have been given such a touching and wonderful gift by both friends and strangers.

Thanks Pop, for being a great man, for the many gifts you gave me, for helping others, and for remaining my hero! And, thank you Staz, Marty, Angelike, Amalia, and Dinos for the special gift you all gave me.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

The Cone of Silence, Chaos, and the Smartest Person in the Room

(Reprinted from November 2008)

In the 1960’s television series, “Get Smart”, a play on words in and of itself, Agent Maxwell Smart considered himself to be cunning, knowledgeable, and very….Smart. In fact, he was a bumbling, funny, idiot, who despite his obvious shortcomings, always captured the agent from the evil enemy organization, known as Kaos (Chaos). Despite his strong beliefs to the contrary, Agent Smart was rarely, if ever, the smartest person in the room. Inevitably, he was assisted, and often unknowingly led, by his partner, Agent 99…a person with a whole lot more smarts than Agent Smart.


When you attend meetings with colleagues, prospects, or clients, do you feel like you’re the smartest person in the room? Do others think you are? Do you think someone else is the smartest person in the room? If you think that you are the smartest person in the room, then you may be overlooking a real opportunity!


Some people have told me that I’m pretty bright. While such compliments feel really great, they’re also dangerous, because if I’m not careful, after a while I could start to believe that they’re true. And, that could spell the beginning of chaos and lost opportunities!


How about you? Have others told you how smart you are? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re no slouch but, the world is full of very intelligent people…those who know a lot more than you and me…people who have received more and better training, have achieved higher levels of learning, have more degrees and more pertinent experience, those who understand what you and I don’t, and those with deeper expertise than you or me.


That’s right, you actually may not be the smartest person in the room, and I’m pretty darned sure that, neither am I. Now we’re talking! In the realization that you are not the smartest person in the room lays opportunity! In most cases, the people who are smarter than you want to share their ideas and thoughts with you. After all, why have all those smarts if not to demonstrate that they exist, right?!


The lady standing next to you in the room probably knows something you don’t. The guy across the table knows something you haven’t considered. The woman sitting next to him knows something he hasn’t heard before. They may not all be university graduates or senior executives but, they all know something. And, that something may be just what you need, like an idea; a bit of historical data; a theory; a new approach; a twist on an old concept; a seemingly crazy, far-out, or wild idea….something that you haven’t yet considered or maybe what you’ve already forgotten. But, it’s there for you to tap into.


That knowledge, that wisdom, those smarts that are better or broader than those you possess are within your reach and available to accelerate you further than you could go without them. You see, when a person believes that they are the smartest person in the room, that belief, that one seemingly small error, in and of itself, suggests that that person isn’t…..the smartest person in the room. What’s more, such a mistake can cause you to miss a very important opportunity…the opportunity to acquire knowledge from others, to capitalize on what other people know, to build on their experiences, to learn more, to become better at whatever you do….to better serve others and to become an even greater success!


Ask yourself: “Do I know EVERYTHING?” That’s an easy one. Then, as you begin to feel a bit humbled, ask yourself “Do I know everything I need to know to accomplish all of my objectives?” If you answer “Yes”, try again, and remind yourself that someone somewhere knows something you don’t. And, that something could be the key ingredient in accomplishing your mission, for yourself and for others.


The most successful leaders I’ve met have been some incredibly quick-minded and intelligent people. Among the most common traits they all possess was the realization that their knowledge and experience created greater results when augmented by what other smarter people knew. They knew that if they actually were the smartest person in the room, their accomplishments and their ultimate success would be limited by what they did not know. And, in order to achieve more, they typically sought out others with more experience, more knowledge, more expertise….more smarts.


So, what’s your best move? Accept that, while you may be pretty intelligent, you are not likely the smartest person in the room, or at least you shouldn’t be. If you really are the smartest one there, then go to another room, or find people who truly are smarter than you and who can help you accomplish more with what they know. If that means you must find your own Agent 99 then, so be it!


Your best bet will be to ditch the Cone of Silence, get dumb, then Get Smart, and excell further than your own smarts alone can take you!

Andrew Zezas, SIOR ©Template Nice Blue. Modified by Indian Monsters. Original created by http://ourblogtemplates.com

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