Invoice

Andrew Zezas has shared a OneDrive for Business file with you. To view it, click the link below. Invoice 210522EA-CFO Intelligence.pdf

Hi,

Please see attached copy of the amended invoice for your records.

Regards,

Andy

Andrew B. Zezas

Host, Publisher & CEO

 

Andrew.Zezas@CFOIntell.com

201 906 8964

www.LinkedIn.com/In/AndrewZezas

CFO Intelligence
PO Box 568

Califon, NJ 07830

 

www.CFOIntell.com   

@CFOIntelligence

 

Schedule a Call or Meeting: https://freebusy.io/CFOIntelligence/30min

Apply for CFO Intelligence Community Membership

Read CFO Intelligence Magazine

 

Customer Service Cannot Die!

No matter how hard some people try, customer service cannot die! I've had some wacky customer service experiences lately....four, in a row! So, I had to tell you about them.

* Landscaper: He was always too busy to take phone calls despite my spending thousands of dollars with him. He doesn't call or provide the information he committed to provide. His voicemail box is always full, he's argumentative, and does things his way even if it means losing the customer. I've taken my business elsewhere.

* Car Dealer: Promises to return your call, doesn't respond, after delays when prompted to respond he has no clue about your conversation and asks you to remind him. I'm buying a car elsewhere.

* Salesman: Recently emailed a customer saying that he's already spent too much time on the customer's little deal! He didn't make that deal.

* Public Relations Agent: Took me through what sounded like a canned phone pitch, wouldn't meet in-person (because she said she's busy and is raising five kids). Despite my having kept her informed as to my schedule changes and my inability to make deadlines she established, when I called saying our company was ready to engage but that I needed clarification as to how she can help she raised her voice saying she was entitled to respect, told me off, and claimed to be offended by my not being in-line with her thinking. This one needs a little more fiber and less caffeine in her diet. We'll engage someone with more patience.


Wow! Has the customer service world gone mad? These people should be boiled in oil! Whatever happened to "The customer is always right!". Hell! Whatever happened to common courtesy and treating customers...people...with respect? Whoever said that working hard entitles business people to be rude and arrogant? Thank goodness these people represent the minority of the business world!

Unfortunately, for these people, failure is not a question...it is most likely inevitable! I actually feel bad for them...and, for their customers!


Andrew B. Zezas, SIOR

Happy Holidays!

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, Happy Ramadan!

The most important words above are "Merry" and "Happy". May you experience both this season! And, may you enjoy a most profitable 2010!

Andy

"Try" The Weakest Word in the English Language!

The word "Try" is the weakest word in the English language. It has devolved into an excuse. The terms "I'll try" or "I'll give it a try" doesn't say "I'll get it done!" I'll "Try" says "I'll take a shot at it", and it suggests that the person who is "trying" probably doesn't expect to succeed at the task. "I'll try" is most often used like a disclaimer and means "Ok, I'll have a go at it but, I'm warning you not to be upset if I fail...because at least I will have tried!" What a cop out! What a weak way to punk out! Wouldn't it be better to say, "I really don't plan to give it everything I've got, so you should expect me to fail!"?

Even Yoda from Star Wars said "Do, or Do Not! There is no 'Try'!"....and, he's not even real!

When I hear someone use the word "Try" it says:

* "I'm not really sure that I can do it."

* "I'll make half an effort"

* "I might fail"

* "I'm not really interested"

And, my all time favorite....

* "I won't make any promises."


When someone says they'll "Try", watch their face and their body language. Do you see confidence in their expression and their emotion? Or, instead do you see weakness, disinterest, or a lack of commitment?

Using "Try" or, even accepting it promotes a lack of confidence. It permits, and can even promote, failure. To "try" is not a commitment to succeed, complete a task, or accomplish an objective. But, rather today, it is only a promise to make an effort. Unfortunately, it only suggests a modest effort.

Say the following to yourself "I'll try to complete that task." Now, ask yourself how you feel after having said that. Do you feel wishy washy? Weak and uncertain?

Now say: "Nothing will stand in my way. I will complete that task before I do anything else!" Go ahead...say it. How do you feel now? Do you still feel limp? Or, do you feel empowered, strong, and confident, maybe even a bit taller?

Using the word "Try" is somewhat like using the common term "No problem". It's not really what most people mean. But, it has become an accepted term, despite that term containing two of the most negative words in the English language..."No" and "Problem".

In the last three decades, there has been much focus on the power of the spoken word, with books and CDs published, and speeches and seminars given about power words, positive thinking, and words that inspire and influence.

If it is confidence and a sense of accomplishment you seek, don't "Try" to read those books, listen to those CDs or attend those seminars. Instead, set your mind to it and accomplish your objective.

In fact, never try anything. Decide if you wish to tackle a challenge and complete it, or not. If you choose not to, then move on to something else.

It is better to decide not to do something, than to make a half-hearted effort by trying, half-committing to it, and then failing. If you wish to conquer something, then figure out how and make sure you do. Don't "Try", Do! It's really that simple.

Don't "Try" to do anything. Either commit to get it done and finish the job. Or, go do something else!

My Father...My Hero, and the Gift of Friends and Strangers

Growing up as a little boy in the Bronx and then later at the Jersey Shore, I always looked up to my father, as most children do. My father, Speros Zezas, was a bit of an enigma...tall, dark, introverted in some ways, very charismatic in others. He was always a pillar of strength to me. He had a temper and an ego commensurate with that of many strong Greek men of his day. On only a few occasions did we see my father cry...when he longed for his homeland and when he thought about his mother. He had his faults, but like our mother, he worked hard to make sure we had a sturdy roof over our heads, good food in our bellies, clean clothes, strong backs, a reputable name, and a sense of honor and fair-play. It was hard not to look up to my father. Like most fathers, mine was my first hero.

Eventually, as my father and I both grew older we became closer. He was one of the founders and a dedicated trustee of Kimisis Tis Theotokou Greek Orthodox Church in Holmdel, New Jersey. I was one of that church's first altar boys. In my teen years, my father and I attended church together regularly. In my early twenties, I worked my way through college in a nightclub band. My father attended most of my local shows and hung out with me and my friends. My father taught me many things about being a good person, about being a man, about being a husband and a father, and about being a gentleman. I carry most of his teachings with me to this day, and pass them on to my children. My father eventually became ill and in 1985 his life drew to a close, but not before he and I became best friends.

My father has stayed with me in many ways throughout my life. But, a series of unconnected events, or so I thought, unfolded over the last two years and brought him back to me in a very special and unexpected way.

Through a chance meeting at a business networking event at a New York City restaurant in 2007, I made a new friend. His name is Staz. Staz and I hit it off immediately, agreed to help each other in business and in life, and have stayed in touch ever since.

In October 2008, the world economy went off a cliff. Over lunch, another friend, Marty, reminded me of the career challenges that many white collar executives were experiencing, especially those in finance. Given increasing unemployment levels, many were experiencing real challenges finding work, selling themselves to potential employers, understanding and communicating their value propositions, and more. Considering my background in advising c-level executives, I felt confident that I could provide these executives with good insights and impart to them tools and skills that could enhance their careers, and hopefully their lives. Marty and I continued to discuss this issue over a couple of days, when I offered to create a presentation to help executives achieve their career goals. Marty encouraged me to complete the presentation and invited me to speak before a financial executive group that he led.

In December 2008, in front of Marty's group, I presented "Enough About Me, Let's Talk About Me!", a two hour workshop on improving executive communication, networking, relationship building, and more. The small crowd of very accomplished executives that Marty brought together was very receptive. After the presentation, a number of attendees asked if they could connect and network with me. Some even asked if I would coach them. Although I'm not an executive coach and had to decline those requests, I have stayed in-touch with a number of people who have attended my presentations.

Over the following few months, other organizations asked me to present "Enough About Me, Let's Talk About Me!", which I did as a means of giving to the universe and helping others. I started to generate a small following. My friend Staz learned that I would appear before a group of business people at Kimisis Tis Theotokou Greek Orthodox Church...my father's church...my family's church. He and another friend of ours, Dean, hurriedly drove all the way out from Long Island to central New Jersey just to hear my presentation.

As soon as Staz arrived, he began taking page after page of notes. Afterward, he told me that he was starting a think tank in New York, called Greek Synergy, which would bring people together on intellectual, emotional, and spiritual levels. Staz invited me to present "Enough About Me, Let's Talk About Me!" to his think tank. I readily accepted his invitation.

On July 22, 2009, Staz gathered together approximately thirty business people at Cafe Martinique in New York to hear my presentation. This was a sophisticated group, and many attendees actively participated in the lively discussion. Angelike (An-gel-e-key), a reporter from The National Herald newspaper attended the event. She took many notes and snapped photos the entire night. Angelike spent a few moments with me before the presentation began, asking the Who? What? and Why? questions that are typical of news reporters. The presentation at Staz's think tank was a huge success, and after more than two hours we closed the event and said goodnight. Staz and I both felt fulfilled for having helped so many people. We were exhausted.

About two weeks after the Cafe Martinique event, I began receiving congratulatory phone calls and emails pertaining to the article that appeared in The National Herald newspaper about my presentation at the Greek Synergy event. Since I hadn't yet seen the article, I asked a friend to forward it to me. The newspaper reporter had written a very complimentary story, both about my presentation and about Greek Synergy. She did a fine job in capturing the essence of the message I sought to deliver and the drive behind Staz's vision. Her article brought a smile to my face. My wife even giggled when we read the reporter's quote about how I had presented my thoughts and ideas with a "super hero-like voice!". You can't pay for lines like that!

A week or so later, I received a phone call from a broadcaster named Amalia from COSMOS FM Greek Public Radio in Long Island, New York. Amalia said she had read The National Herald article, and invited me to appear on a live radio broadcast to discuss the event and share my ideas. Amalia thought we could use the power of radio to help even more people. Thinking that a live radio program could be fun, I agreed. On the prescribed night, I called into the radio station and we went live. Between answering Amalia's questions and fielding calls from people seeking guidance about their careers, I felt great. The live interview lasted about forty-five minutes.

About an hour after the broadcast, I received an email from a man named Dinos, whose name I did not recognize. In his email, he wrote that he'd heard the COSMOS FM broadcast, thanked me for appearing, and complimented me for sharing my ideas and for working to help others. Dinos also wrote that my name sounded familiar to him. He asked if I was the son of Speros Zezas, the man who, many years ago, ran Micro Instrument Company in Brooklyn, NY. Dinos wrote that if Speros was my father, he hoped to speak with me. He went on in his email to say that he'd come to the United States in the 1970's, that my father hired him and gave him a career. Dinos wanted to thank me.

I returned Dinos's email, confirming that Speros was my father, that we loved him very much, that he was a great man, and that we had lost him in 1985. I wished Dinos well and thanked him for his kind words about me and my dear father. Dinos emailed me again that night, and we continued to email back and forth for the next hour or so. I walked out of my office that evening with tears in my eyes, having felt great for possibly helping some people find their way that evening, but also for having heard that a stranger thought so well of my father. I looked up at the night sky full of stars and said "Pop, you're still here." and drove home to kiss my wife and two children good-night.

When I arrived at my home, I was so excited, that I kept everyone awake telling them about the radio broadcast, the email I'd received about my father, and what a great experience I'd had that night. My wife, daughter, and son, all shared my joy.

The next day, Dinos called my office to introduce himself to me. He was a reserved and humble man, with a thick Greek accent. Dinos was about 8 years older than me and proceeded to tell me the story of how he'd met my father and worked for him in the 1970s. He said that he'd come to the United States with no job prospects, no education or training, and an uncertain future. Dinos first took a job in the kitchen at a New York diner. When my father met him, he noticed a spark in Dinos and hired him right away to work in his tool and die engineering and manufacturing business.

I suspect that my father may have seen a little of himself in Dinos. When my father first arrived in the United States, he too had no connections and few prospects, despite having been trained as a machinist and engineer in the Greek Merchant Navy.

Almost immediately after hiring him, my father sensed that Dinos had a knack for engineering and encouraged him to go to school to obtain a college degree. After two years as my father's apprentice, he left the company and attended a university in New York to pursue an education in engineering.

In a humble, yet confident voice, Dinos told me that he had earned that engineering degree, and for more than thirty years had enjoyed a career and a life that he never expected he would have. He told me of his family and proudly said that he was currently employed at a Long Island engineering company that designs sophisticated componentry for NASA. Dinos said that had he not met my father, he would not have achieved what he had in his career or his life. Dinos then said something that, even as I write this now, still brings tears to my eyes. This man, who I had never met, who had only heard about my brothers and me in conversations with my father, who by chance happened to hear my last name on a radio broadcast, who recognized my name and took the initiative to contact me, told me that my father, Speros Zezas, was his hero...too.

For a moment I couldn't speak. Dinos then asked me for one simple favor. He asked if I would send him a photo of my father, so he could frame it and put it on his desk. I got all choked-up and agreed to send him that photo.

As a young boy, my father was my first real hero. As he battled cancer, my father demonstrated courage and heroism, despite knowing that he would eventually lose that fight. Two and a half decades later, when an excited and very kind man heard my last name, my father's name, on a New York public radio broadcast and shared with me the wonderful life that he had built for himself and his family with my father's help from thirty years earlier, I was reminded again about the hero my father was to me as I was growing up, and now knew that he was also equally important to someone else. That night my father, Speros Zezas, became my hero all over again.

They say that nothing happens by coincidence and that the universe has a way of balancing itself out. For more than thirty years, my father has been Dinos's hero, and I never knew that. Had Marty not invited me to develop "Enough About Me, Let's Talk About Me!", had Staz not asked me to present in New York, had Angelike not written such a great article, had Amalia not invited me to appear on the radio, and had Dinos not heard my father's name and called me, I would not have learned that while my father was my first and constant hero, he was also someone else's hero...I would not have been given such a touching and wonderful gift by both friends and strangers.

Thanks Pop, for being a great man, for the many gifts you gave me, for helping others, and for remaining my hero! And, thank you Staz, Marty, Angelike, Amalia, and Dinos for the special gift you all gave me.

The Cone of Silence, Chaos, and the Smartest Person in the Room

(Reprinted from November 2008)

In the 1960’s television series, “Get Smart”, a play on words in and of itself, Agent Maxwell Smart considered himself to be cunning, knowledgeable, and very….Smart. In fact, he was a bumbling, funny, idiot, who despite his obvious shortcomings, always captured the agent from the evil enemy organization, known as Kaos (Chaos). Despite his strong beliefs to the contrary, Agent Smart was rarely, if ever, the smartest person in the room. Inevitably, he was assisted, and often unknowingly led, by his partner, Agent 99…a person with a whole lot more smarts than Agent Smart.


When you attend meetings with colleagues, prospects, or clients, do you feel like you’re the smartest person in the room? Do others think you are? Do you think someone else is the smartest person in the room? If you think that you are the smartest person in the room, then you may be overlooking a real opportunity!


Some people have told me that I’m pretty bright. While such compliments feel really great, they’re also dangerous, because if I’m not careful, after a while I could start to believe that they’re true. And, that could spell the beginning of chaos and lost opportunities!


How about you? Have others told you how smart you are? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you’re no slouch but, the world is full of very intelligent people…those who know a lot more than you and me…people who have received more and better training, have achieved higher levels of learning, have more degrees and more pertinent experience, those who understand what you and I don’t, and those with deeper expertise than you or me.


That’s right, you actually may not be the smartest person in the room, and I’m pretty darned sure that, neither am I. Now we’re talking! In the realization that you are not the smartest person in the room lays opportunity! In most cases, the people who are smarter than you want to share their ideas and thoughts with you. After all, why have all those smarts if not to demonstrate that they exist, right?!


The lady standing next to you in the room probably knows something you don’t. The guy across the table knows something you haven’t considered. The woman sitting next to him knows something he hasn’t heard before. They may not all be university graduates or senior executives but, they all know something. And, that something may be just what you need, like an idea; a bit of historical data; a theory; a new approach; a twist on an old concept; a seemingly crazy, far-out, or wild idea….something that you haven’t yet considered or maybe what you’ve already forgotten. But, it’s there for you to tap into.


That knowledge, that wisdom, those smarts that are better or broader than those you possess are within your reach and available to accelerate you further than you could go without them. You see, when a person believes that they are the smartest person in the room, that belief, that one seemingly small error, in and of itself, suggests that that person isn’t…..the smartest person in the room. What’s more, such a mistake can cause you to miss a very important opportunity…the opportunity to acquire knowledge from others, to capitalize on what other people know, to build on their experiences, to learn more, to become better at whatever you do….to better serve others and to become an even greater success!


Ask yourself: “Do I know EVERYTHING?” That’s an easy one. Then, as you begin to feel a bit humbled, ask yourself “Do I know everything I need to know to accomplish all of my objectives?” If you answer “Yes”, try again, and remind yourself that someone somewhere knows something you don’t. And, that something could be the key ingredient in accomplishing your mission, for yourself and for others.


The most successful leaders I’ve met have been some incredibly quick-minded and intelligent people. Among the most common traits they all possess was the realization that their knowledge and experience created greater results when augmented by what other smarter people knew. They knew that if they actually were the smartest person in the room, their accomplishments and their ultimate success would be limited by what they did not know. And, in order to achieve more, they typically sought out others with more experience, more knowledge, more expertise….more smarts.


So, what’s your best move? Accept that, while you may be pretty intelligent, you are not likely the smartest person in the room, or at least you shouldn’t be. If you really are the smartest one there, then go to another room, or find people who truly are smarter than you and who can help you accomplish more with what they know. If that means you must find your own Agent 99 then, so be it!


Your best bet will be to ditch the Cone of Silence, get dumb, then Get Smart, and excell further than your own smarts alone can take you!

“Spin” is a Four Letter Word

Why is it, in today’s society, that one’s ability to spin stories in various directions of choice is considered an art form, and that those who have that ability are thought of as mentally athletic and are well respected? Isn’t use of the term spin merely a way to avoid the word “exaggeration”? We even have a cool name for those who do it…Spin Doctors! I’m not referring to the rock band of the same name. I always thought that doctors were supposed to do good works, to deliver babies, to help people become healthy and stay fit, that they were supposed to save lives. Instead, Spin Doctors, those so called geniuses, who wax and wane and go to great lengths to make others see things in a very narrow way are nowadays reveled as brilliant, creative, and cutting edge. Whatever happened to simply telling the plain old truth?



I once worked for a company that devolved to a point where they permitted internal and external Spin Doctoring. More importantly, they actually promoted it! Management’s time was very thin and the company was performing quite well. So, they were not inclined to dig too deeply below the surface when issues arose, no matter how serious they were. When asked to explain one's actions, all an employee needed was a good story and a friend to back her up. So long as the story sounded credible, and someone else said it was true, management was willing to brand it as truth and went no further.

The "good story" approach was encouraged in both internal conversations and those with clients and customers! After a while it became next to impossible to tell the truth from the Spin! It got so bad that my head would spin as fast as the stories that were told. That company’s management made a lot of bad choices as a result of their unofficial Spin policy, and the company eventually paid for it. Clients left the company, and they lost some of their top professionals, too, including me. Isn’t that amazing?



I recently encountered a consultant, who claimed to offer a large and varied array of consulting services. He offered management services, website design services, surveillance camera set-up and management services, human resource consulting, operating manual writing services, and more. His list became so long that it was incredibly difficult to figure out what this guy really did for a living, and how he could create value for anyone. In fact, he was involved in so many things in so many different directions that he found it difficult to explain it himself. In one conversation he had with someone else, I overhead him say that “the definition of a consultant is someone who has no understanding of the client’s needs, promises to deliver, gets the account, and then, figures out how to complete the project.” Talk about Spin! We refused to hire him for an important project as a result of his distorted philosophy. What's more, we no longer deal with him at all.



There’s an easy solution to this situation. Remember what Mom and Dad taught you…"always tell the truth!" It’s a simpler approach, and it keeps you healthy…really! Look at it this way: If you don’t spin, you’ll never have to remember what you said to Mr. A or Ms. B, because you will have told the truth. It will be very easy to remember. Your customers, clients, friends, and family will come to expect honesty from you, because they’ll be used to it. Your business will grow, as will your relationships, and your overall success. Sure, you might find yourself in situations where pulling out the old Spin would be easier, but there’s always another way. You’ll have less stress, your life will go easier, you'll feel better about yourself, and you’ll be less prone to illnesses and disease.

Now, if the lessons you learned at your parents’ knees were different than the above or if you find yourself working toward a degree in Spin Doctoring, don't try to do business with my firm! You may wish to go back to school and reconsider your path. Remember, no matter what anyone tells you, "Spin" is a four letter word!

Dear Staz:

I truly enjoyed presenting "Enough About Me, Let's Talk About Me!" an Executive Career Workshop at your Greek Synergy event in Manhattan. Many thanks for permitting me to be a part of such an important beginning.

I've got some exciting news! COSMOS-FM, Hellenic Public Radio, has invited me to be interviewed LIVE on the air TONIGHT, August 4th, at 7:00 PM on 91.5 FM. Listeners will be able to call into the radio station to ask questions about executive job search, high level networking, how to build meaningful business relationships, how to protect their careers and secure the right executive position.

Please tune-in to FM 91.5 or listen via the internet at 7:00 PM tonight and invite those who might benefit to listen and to call-in.

Sincerely,

Andrew B. Zezas, SIOR
Relationship Manager,Strategist, President & CEO

REAL ESTATE STRATEGIES CORPORATION

908.245.5999 x11
201.906.8964 cell

http://www.thecfosguide.com/
www.LinkedIn.com/in/AndrewZezas
http://www.andrewzezas.com/
Blog: CorporateAdvisor.wordpress.com
Blog: AndrewZezas.blogspot.com


Business Driven Real Estate Solutions...and Opportunities
http://www.realstrat.com/
3 Executive Drive, Suite 400
Somerset, New Jersey 08873

Licensed Real Estate Broker

Why Doesn't Your Resume Contain a Headline?

If your local newspaper was organized like most resumes, few people would read it. Most resumes read like product manuals....very boring and matter of fact, with a few gratuitous power words thrown in. Yuck! When was the last time you got excited when reading someone else's resume?

Newspapers today use the same tried and proven successful technique today that they've employed forever. In big bold type at the top of the front page, above the fold, they tell you what the top story is. They use a short phrase that makes you stop, grab the paper, and turn to page 7 to read more about the story behind the headline. They give you a reason to want to read more. TV commercials selling products and services take the same approach. They say something at the beginning or ask a question designed to get your attention and keep you waiting for more.

So, why wouldn't you do the same with your resume? Don't you want to get someone's attention? Do you want them to read about your expertise, and decide to interview you, or even hire you?

Come on! I know you think your resume is impressive. But, everyone thinks the same about their resumes. That doesn't mean that the right people will read it! Moreover, you must know that there are people out there who are better qualified than you, who's resumes are better written than yours, and who may be more aggressively marketing themselves. In today's environment, when so many people are seeking employment, you need a hook, a reason to inspire the right people to read the details contained in your resume.

So, why take a chance on having your resume passed over? Why hope that by writing your resume the same way that thousands of other qualified professionals do, that magically yours will be read, and that the reader will fully digest what you've written, understand your background, and correctly interpret how her company will benefit by hiring you? Don't hope...make it clear! Spoon feed it to them! Tell them right up front, at the top of your resume, what benefits they'll derive. Use a headline! Don't tell them what you can do. Instead, tell them the results they'll get by hiring you!

Ok, so you want to avoid looking like a cheesy salesperson...you should! You don't need to use huge bold red type (although this approach can be effective). So, instead, use an elegant style font that's not so big, yet is big enough to catch your intended reader's eye.

Listen, Winston Churchill made it very clear that when making an important point, being subtle was not the best course of action. Read his quote at the "Quotes" section of www.AndrewZezas.com.

So, create a great headline about yourself, display it prominently atop your resume, make your point, let the readers know what they'll get by hiring you, and get that job you're seeking!

Not sure what they'll derive by hiring you? That's an entirely different discussion. But, that's something very important on which you must spend time, right now. If you don't know what benefit or value you'll create for a company, how will they know?

Figure that one out, and you'll be ahead of most of your job seeking competitors. Good luck!

Andy

Results Are Meaningless...It’s the Experience that Counts!

How many times have you done an outstanding job for a customer or client, only to watch her hire or buy from your competitor the next time around? You’ve probably scratched your head and asked yourself “What did I do wrong?” Then you might say “I worked hard for that customer, I made sure they got a great deal, and I gave them a rock bottom price. They couldn’t have gotten a better price from anyone in town. And, this is the thanks I get!” Ah! The salesperson’s lament!

Every good salesperson understands that price isn’t everything. In fact, if price were the most important component of every sale, luxury brands like BMW, Coach, Four Seasons Hotels, and Nobu would not succeed…because their value can not be found in a low price.

So, let’s assume that you provided your customer with more than just a great price, and that you got them good terms, too. In business-to-business services, like corporate real estate, we hear brokers exclaim all the time “I got them such a good deal on that property…I cut their price by 20%, and secured huge landlord concessions, too. And, they hired my competitor for their next project!” In the service business, results are important. After all, results are what drive decisions, how people are paid, how executive bonuses are calculated, how purchases are made…right? While that may be true, people make decisions based on many factors, including but, not only based on, results.

Here are a few questions:

- Remember the last time you got a new car? You may still be driving that same car. If you’re lucky, you drive a great car. You may enjoy getting into it, driving it, maybe even being seen in it. Perhaps your great car takes you and your loved ones safely and in style to places where you have loads of fun. You might enjoy its handling, its speed, its interiors, or something else. Or, maybe you enjoy the looks you get when cruising down main street. The results you get from that car are great.

- But, do you remember the experience of buying or leasing that car? Was it fun? Did you trust the salesperson? Was he truly interested in you, your needs, your challenges, and creating an optimal solution for you, or was he more interested in selling you a car and moving onto the next customer? Would you like to do it again? Would you go back to that same salesperson again based on your first experience?

If you answered “yes” to the last few questions, consider yourself lucky, and don’t let that salesperson go. Unfortunately, if you’re like most Americans, you will not have answered “yes”. Why? Because in many cases, sales and service people, especially those in consumer oriented businesses, focus on the end-game, the final transaction, the results. To often they don’t focus enough on the process of achieving those results from the perspective of the customer. In fact, too few companies compensate their sales and service personnel based on the customer experience. They typically compensate them based on results. So, if you were a salesperson, where would you put your efforts? You'd likely put them in achieving results!

It’s a fact that people buy based, at least in part, on emotional factors. Thta's most often true whether people are making personal purchases or acquiring somehting for their company. Trust is not a results driven basis for buying a product or engaging a service provider. Feeling that the person on the other side of the conference table is truly looking out for your company and your personal success is not results focused.

Sure, results are extremely important when it comes time to demonstrate to a customer that their objectives were accomplished. But, results are not the only factor that will ensure your customer will engage you again. It’s the experience, silly!

That’s right, it’s the experience that counts, and that keeps customers coming back. People aren’t robots. They don’t remember sales or service people who got them great deals. They remember people who looked out for them, who they could trust, who did more for them, as people, then they promised, who’s company they enjoyed. Sure, great results look good on your resume. But, a long list of repeat customers, who are so comfortable with you that they’ll engage you again and again, and will tell your prospective customers about what great experiences they had with you, is what success is really about. It’s about the experience you provide for your customers, not just the results.

Business, like life itself, is not about results. It's about the experiences you enjoy and those you create for others that define success.

Tell Me What You Can Do For Me!

Where is your headline?


Why is that when so many executives wish to stand out in a crowd, all they do is blend-in for fear of being different? I see this every day when people, most of whom are seasoned executives, search for their next career opportunity.

In our corporate real estate advisory and transaction services firm, we deal with a lot of very senior executives. I receive resumes almost everyday from people I know and from those who know people I know. So, the resumes I see are pretty thorough and contain some really cool experiences and seriously impressive accomplishments.

In one respect, almost all of the resumes I receive look exactly the same. They tell me what the candidate has done. That's history, old news, and not necessarily pertinent to what they might be capable of doing for the next company for which they work. What they accomplished in previous positions only references what they might be able to do, it only infers their capabilities. Moreover, most resumes are written like technical journals for your television....really boring and unimaginative.

Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself: Why leave interpretation of your tue abilities and value, and your career, up to chance? Why risk that the person reading your resume will actually read all of it? Why risk that the reader will understand all you've done? Why risk that the reader make the connection between your past and their company's future? Why permit your resume to blend into the hundreds or thousands of resumes that companies receive daily?



WHY NOT JUST TELL THEM WHAT YOU CAN ACHIEVE...FOR THEM???!!!



Think of a contractor who is brought to a house where the roof has blown off. Does he spend his time talking about all of his other jobs, his technical expertise, and what he accomplished for his previous customers? Hell, no! If he's good, he is intelligent enough to recognize the problem, assess the damage, and then focus on the solutions he'll provide to achieve the prospective customer's objectives.

Apply this to a doctor: If you were her patient, would you first want to know about all she's done in the past, what she thinks was exciting, or how she'll save your life right now?

How about an attorney? Do you care about how he won his cases, or simply that he won more than he lost, and how he'll win yours?

The same is true about every aspect of the job search. Before your interviewers and those who read your resume pass by your resume, tell them exactly what you can do for their company. Don't make your sign black and white, and don't forget to even use a sign! Don't leave it up to them to figure you out. They may not fail or not even try. And, you simply have too many competitors today to permit yourself to blend into the crowd, when you're trying to stand out. How can you do this? By creating a sign that will entice them to learn more about you.



WRITE A BRIEF HEADLINE!



The answer is simple. Add a headline to the top of your resume in a font that is a bit larger than the rest of the document (not too large) that says what you can do. Put it right at the top, above everything else. Make it a very specific statement. And, when you meet for an interview, write a headline that precisely address the needs of the company or department with which you're meeting! For example, the headline for a candidate seeking a CFO position with XYZ Company might say "I can reduce XYZ Company's operating costs by 20%, reduce its risk by 10%, and increase its profits by 25% in approximately 1 year!" That will get their attention! That's how you will stand out from the crowd that follows the same tired resume and communications styles as everyone else.

Of course, you must be able to back-up your headline. And, that's when you tell your interviewer how you will achieve those objectives. Afterward, back up the "how" with your experiences and accomplishments. This approach requires research, a keen understanding of the target company's objectives and your abilities...and guts! Now, that's the mark of a true executive...a leader! Or, instead of taking control of your career, you can simply send your resume to hundreds of companies, blend into the crowd, miss your chance to stand out and win that coveted career position, and keep your fingers crossed in the hopes that someone will sift through hundreds of other resumes and because of the color of your letterhead, decide to hire you...yeah, right!

But what if you would consider anyone of multiple positions? Simple...write multiple headlines.

But, what if you don't want to be specific and prefer to leave your options open in case a different position comes around. Well, if you've got all the time in the world and aren't concerned that being vague may casue you to miss an real opportunity, then you can certainly take that approach.

Think about it like this: What if a restaurant owner took that approach and was vague about what he offered, so that he could capture every possible customer that drove by his store? Would you go to a restaurant if the sign out front contained nothing more than a white background with large black letters that only said "Food"? Would that sign entice you to enter and learn more? Would you be entrigued by the spices, old working cooking styles, or fresh produce they use? Would you be excited that you will have a great meal, meet interesting people, and be fully satsified after? Of course not! You'd likely pass right by it on your way to a restaurant where you could easily figure out what you'd get, and one that you expect would satisfy the criteria you've determined would be important to you....likely, the kind of place where, from the first second you stood out front, the sign, the building, the entrance, the aromas, the people, the sounds, the atmosphere, and everything else about the place appealed to what you were seeking....and, made you hungry!

Should your resume say "Food" or "I can save your company $10 million"? On your resume, don't try to come up with a catchy slogan, tag line, or phrase. Tell it like it is. Tell the reader or interviewer exactly what they will receive after they hire you.

So, stand out, don't follow the crowd and do what everyone else does. Executives are not supposed to be followers. They are leaders, who are very well aware of what they can achieve for their employers. And, that must come out in everything you do and say, from your resume to your interview, and everything in between.

What? You don't know what the interviewing company needs? Then, you don't belong in the interview. Do your research, make an assessment, make some phone calls, ask some questions, and confirm the company's objectives before you present yourself. Never in the history of the world has so much information been available to so many people about so many companies and industries. With the information that is available to you today, you have no excuse for not being fully prepared and not connecting how your past experiences and your current expertise can all be brought together to accomplish great things for your next employer...and, for you.

Now, go write your headline...and, Good Luck!

Michael Jackson, Entertainer

Everyone's life contains good stuff and bad stuff. While people mourn or disregard Michael Jackson's death, or celebrate his life, we can learn important lessons from how he lived and worked. They include:

• If you want to keep your fans or customers interested, what you do today must be much better, bigger, and more spectacular than what you did yesterday
  
• Always strive for perfection in your life's work
  
• Be yourself, be an individual
  
• Give everything you've got to whatever you do
  
• Use your talents to save the world. And, if you can't save the world, then change it or heal it...even just a little bit. We are the world!

Michael Jackson certainly was an individual. We'll miss his music, his lyrics, his voice, his dancing, and his unique and irreplaceable entertainment style and abilities. What a shame. May he find the peace, love, and acceptance in death, that he sought but, could not attain in life.

No Problem! And Other Negative Commentary

"No Problem!" Two of the most negative words in the English language are "no" and "problem" which, when joined together, are fast becoming an all-too-common phrase. Why is it that in the year 2009, when the human race is at its historic peak in having achieved the highest levels of intellectual and spiritual accomplishments, and at a time when bookstore shelves are full of volumes about positive thinking, building a better life, achieving greater personal and professional success, and other self improvement topics, do so many accomplished people, professionals and others, respond to positive requests with such a downward focused and negative set of words as "no" and "problem"? Other choice responses that coincide with the "No Problem" way of life include terms like: I think negatively when others think positively; Negative trouble; I don't disagree; I have nothing else to say; and my personal favorite...You’re a Jerk!

Some may say these are just words, and there's no need to take them so literally. Well, so are terms like: You're Hired! Congratulations! You just won $10 million! I Love You! Marry me! You look beautiful! You have a new son! You're a genious! Thank you! You just won a new car! Your daughter will receive a full scholarship! Are these also...just words? I just don't get it! Why respond to any positive conversation with such a negative response as "No Problem"?

I received a phone call from one of our firm's most prestigious clients. This particular client has always appreciated the tremendous attention we've given him and our other clients, and the positive energy that emanates from our employees. In this particular call, my client asked me if we'd recently hired a new administrative assistant. I told him that we had, and he asked me if we'd yet shared with her our perspective on positive energy that he enjoyed so much, which evidently was one of the reasons he'd elected to do business with us. He commented about having called our offices a few times over the last week and having heard "No Problem" from our new administrative assistant in response to his requests. He expressed concern over what he felt was a negative impression being given to our clients by a new employee who hadn't yet learned our style of positive communications.

Is this a great client, or what?! How many times have your clients called you for the express purpose of guiding you as to how to improve your company beyond what they perceive as already great? I immediately realized that "No Problem" was not the preferred term of the day, and that "a problem" was brewing.

I took the initiative to speak with our new employee. I asked her to complete a project for the client who'd called me. She responded to me by saying...you guessed it, "No Problem!" and she immediately set about to complete her task. As I stood at our new employee's desk, I couldn't help, but feel that a change had occurred as a result of her choice of words. While she had demonstrated her work ethic by dropping everything to complete my request, my mood still changed from bright to a bit dark. While I knew that our new employee would complete her task and create the results I sought, I grew concerned about the experiences she might inadvertently create for our clients along the way.

I spent a few minutes explaining to our new employee the negative view that positive thinkers have about terms like "No Problem". She said "There is no problem, so I'll be happy to do what you asked." So, I asked her that if she was attempting to convey a positive response, why she would bring into our conversation the possibility of problems. She responded by saying that no problem existed, ergo the use of "No". "So, then why use those negative words?" I asked. I tried and tried to enlighten her to see the true meaning of the words "No" and "Problem". Try as she might, she simply didn't understand, and she looked at me in a very confused way.

So, I thought for a moment and asked her the following question: "If someone asked me what I thought about you, how would you like me to respond?" Our new employee described herself using a list of very positive words and statements, including intelligent, kind, hard working, helpful, high energy, a good employee, a nice person, attractive, a good mother, friendly, empathic, and the list went on. Nowhere in her long list were terms like: not having any problems, not nasty, not a good employee, or not a trouble-maker. In describing herself, she held a very positive and uplifting view, as most of us do, and used only positive words.

So, I then said to her "If I lived my life the 'No Problem' way and were asked to describe you, I'd likely respond in a manner that would demonstrate that no negatives were part of your personality." I watched our new employee nod her head in agreement. But, because we were still talking about negative terms, I knew that we were still not on the same page. I continued "In that vane, if I lived my life the "No Problem" way, and someone asked me what I thought about you, I'd probably describe you by saying 'She's not a jerk!'. I let that one hang there. She thought for a moment, smiled and said "I got it!"

My employee and I agreed that from that moment on, she'd be diligent in changing the way she spoke. Her new objective would be to present herself in as positive a light as possible to our employees, clients, and business partners, and to ensure that those who deal with our firm would receive a positive experience, in addition to great results. She even suggested that such a change could have a positive effect on her personal life. I was thrilled!

As I walked away from our new employee's desk feeling elated about having improved my company's image and perhaps having had a positive affect on another person's life, I reminded her to complete our client's project as early as possible. She responded by saying "No Problem". As I stopped dead in my tracks, turned and looked at her, she looked back, smiled again, and said "Gotcha!

Damage Control, In Advance

Webster's defines Control as: “To exercise authority or influence over; To hold in restraint.”



Why do business people like the term “damage control”? Possibly because it makes us feel like we have the power to change the impact of undesirable circumstances. It has a safe sound to it...damage control...as if all will be well after we control the damage. We all want control over our lives, our careers, our companies, and to be the masters of our own destinies unimpeded by external forces or the wills of others.



Yet, at times, external forces do get in our way, especially lately, and we must rectify those situations. So, most often we rely on our ability to do damage control...there's that term again. Some companies operate in a constant state of damage control, and treat that approach as an everyday method of conducting business, as a means to protect themselves. Such companies often believe that if they are able to minimize the immediate affect of damage, they will have essentially eliminated the damage. Do we really believe that?



If someone was to punch you in the mouth, and then attempted to placate you, after a while you might calm down and eventually the physical pain you experienced would subside, and you might even forgive that person. But, simply because the person who hit you spun a story and provided you with reasons, justifications, and apologies for his or her actions, would you simply forget the incident? Would you go about your business as if nothing had happened? Would you be just as pleased to maintain a relationship or do business with that person again as you did before he or she gave you a right cross and a fat lip?


If you were hit in the mouth, wouldn't that incident and its negative energy stay with you, at least for a while? Would you wonder why it happened in the first place? Wouldn't you want answers? Wouldn't you want to make up your own mind as to the likelihood of your receiving another swollen jaw in the future, and possibly losing some teeth? Of course you would! But, while you would certainly ask yourself these questions, you might not vocalize them. As a result of your apparent contemplative silence, your assailant, who did plenty of damage control after he or she realized that you might no longer stay friends or do business with them, might figure that silence is golden and that all would be well. Yet, you would know that all would NOT be well.



Why do so many companies position themselves to do damage control after a negative event occurs? Why don't they, instead, prepare for damage control in advance, and actually do it before anything dangerous occurs? Do those companies believe that nothing could go wrong, that they are so good, so perfect, that they might not make a mistake? Why not do damage control before the event occurs by ensuring it doesn't happen? Or, if it is inevitable, then address it before it gets out of hand, don't just explain it away.



Successful executives are truly focused on their customers, business partners, shareholders, and employees, and don't wait to do damage control after the fact. They anticipate the down-side effect of their actions before they proceed. They don't hold their breath in the hopes that the wall won't cave in on them and their customers, they shore up that wall long before their customers (and their relationships with those customers) are in jeopardy. If they must do damage control, they do so well in advance of a negative event actually occurring. They conduct Damage Control in Advance.



Damage Control in Advance actually brings companies, whether they are service providers, sellers of products, or otherwise, much closer to those people who are important to them, their customers, employees, partners, and others. Conducting Damage Control in Advance let's their customers and others know, in advance, how events could impact them and their relationship, and prepares them. Damage Control in Advance makes it very clear that the service provider is thinking about their customer, is concerned about them, and wishes not only to preserve the relationship, but to bring the customer into an important conversation early on, and into the decision-making process, itself. Damage Control in Advance not only elevates communication between people, but it brings about greater collaboration, as well as, strengthens relationships on both personal and business levels.



Damage Control in Advance is an honest, up-front, simple, and intelligent approach to solving problems before they become unsolvable and create irreparable damage.

You Want a Friend? Get a Dog! But, Use Your Interviewer's Time Carefully!

In a job interview, both you and the interviewer are there for only one reason... to assess your applicability for the executive position at hand. Use the interviewer's time, and yours, very carefully. Unless you're applying for a position in sales or customer service, don't waste the interviewer's time trying to make friends. Personality is important in almost every career position. But, given the stiff competition that currently exists for executive positions of almost every shape and size, your main objective is to get to the true benefits the company would derive by hiring you.

I'm not suggesting that you act like a robot or be devoid of wit and warmth. But, too many executives mistakenly believe that interviews are personality contests. If you happen to find a real connection between you and the interviewer, that could certainly help break the ice. But, absent that, trying to make the interviewer take a liking to you is a waste of time.

The interviewer is not there to make friends and neither are you. Spending time in an interview trying to "buddy up" is a cheesey trick. It shows bad form and suggests that you may be a weak candidate seeking to cover-up your deficiencies. Moreover, what would happen if you were the best qualified for a particular position but, spent too much time playing Mister Personality, and either didn't demonstrate your experience and abilities or the interviewer didn't like you?

Get to the point (Read "Advancing Your Career May Be As Easy As Telling a Joke in Reverse!"). If you have limited time and can demonstrate only one trait in addition to your qualifications, make it confidence, trust, creativity, or conciseness. After you've convinced the interviewer that you're best qualified to help his / her company accomplish its objectives, then turn on the charm.
Good luck!

Did You Really Expect to Land that Job by Sending an Email?

Email is passive. Most people aren't email addicts, like me, who focus on answering their clients' emails within minutes of receiving them. The phone only weighs ounces, not 500 pounds! Any form of communication other than a conversation between humans [and mental telepathy] is passive and risks delay, being forgotten or completely ignored, and basically risks your message not getting across and your not achieving your desired results.

Whether you're seeking a job interview or offering a service or product for sale, look at it this way: A question asked in a telephone conversation usually gets an immediate response, not necessarily an answer but, a response. An email permits the reader to do any one of a number of things, such as:

* Never read your email
* Delete your email
* Decide to read it later
* Scan it quickly and decide to read the details later
* Read it and not respond
* Read it in detail and respond to it later
* Read it and respond to part of it upon receipt or later
* Respond to all of it upon receipt
* And, more....

Here's the important part about email communications. Since most of the above alternative reactions permit the reader to get back to you at a later date, email communication can be much less intrusive on the recipient than a phone call. And, because you probably don't want to be too pushy by interrupting people, you'd rather not be intrusive....right? Well, then by sending email instead of calling, you are sending a message to your email recipients that you do not need a timely reply, that your communication to them may be of a casual nature, that it may not even be important, and if they don't respond to you...at all...it's ok! If that's the nature of your communication, then email away!

When you were employed as an executive in your last position, those employees, service providers, business partners, and others who reported to you probably watched carefully for every email you sent them, lest they be fired for non-responsiveness. When you sent an email, they replied...completely and quickly...right? It is also likely that your peers and maybe even your superiors were focused on the emails you sent and replied in a reasonable time frame. So, you're used to email being an effective, efficient, and timely tool that got the job done.

Unless you're in the midst of an intense project with a group of people who send and receive a steady stream of emails, email as a communications tool is passive. Email permits people to choose to respond, to choose when and how to respond, to choose not to respond, or not choose at all.

Think about all the other obstacles that could keep you from receiving a response to your email, including:

* Your email gets caught in the recipient's spam filter
* The recipient mistakenly deleted your email and didn't know it
* Like dialing one wrong number when placing a telephone call, you misspell the recipient's email address
* The recipient is out of town or unable to read email for an extended time period and sets your email to read on some future date
* The recipient doesn't read his or her own emails and has them reviewed and prioritized by an assistance (this is happening more and more)
* Trust me, there's more!

So, if people receive an email from you, they'll likely assume that you're in no rush to receive their reply. And, they'll decide if, when, how, and in what detail they'll respond to you...that is, if they make any decisions about your email at all. I mean, if you're in no rush, why should they rush to respond to you, right? They've got lives, families, careers, and things to do, too.

So, if you need an answer, PICK-UP THE PHONE! What are you so afraid of? Someone will say "no" or worse, hang-up on you? Look at it this way, if the person you call says they won't help you, aren't you better off hearing it now, right away, then waiting for days, weeks, or months, and after sending multiple emails and wondering when you'd hear from them? Hey, even if they do hang-up on you (which few people would likely do, unless you're an obnoxious so-and-so), at least you'll know where you stand with that person and you'll know to no longer waste your energy on them.

Email is passive. If you need an answer quickly, pick-up the phone or meet face-to-face. Good-luck!

Stop Being Negative!

Nobody wants to listen to anyone else crying about how bad their business is, how hard it is to find a job, or comments from those who make neutral statements about how challenging the economy is. WE ALL KNOW THAT! Stopt talking about it.

Stop being a sad sack. Get over yourself and get to work! Work two or three times as hard as you did two years ago, and stop crying about it. If bad things happen, deal with it then! Be prepared for them but, don't invite them into your life or your business by focusing so much on them. The universe sends back what you send into it....many times, in multiples.

Use your resources to generate positive energy. Good things don't just happen. Good things are created! So, wash off the negative vibes and go create a positive future!

Congratulations, President Obama

Dear President Obama:

Congratulations on becoming President of our great nation!

A number of people have told me that I should have voted for you, and that you will bring substantial and lasting change to our country. Please don't make them out to be liars. And, please, PLEASE, prove me wrong!

Congratulations again! Good luck to you and to our country!

No Shoes, No Service

Amazing! So, I walk into the men's shoe department of a nationally-known department store. 6 customers, 1 salesperson. I wait a moment, and the salesperson runs past me and asks how he can help me. I tell him the brand of shoe I want (big wide feet, need a certain type for comfort!), and then tell him I need a plain boring black traditional lace-up business shoe, you know, wing tips, or something really exciting like that. He points me to a suped-up disco looking black shoe. I say "That's nice but, I really need just a plan boring traditional business shoe." I tell him the size I need. "I don't have anything that large" he says. I tell hm the width I need. "We don't carry that width", looking slightly annoyed. "But, let me look."

The salesperson brings out two boxes. One is a suped-up disco looking black shoe...boy, that seems familiar. I look at him and say "Business shoe" and I open the other box, which to my surprise, contains a pair of boring black business shoes....wrong size! I try them on, their too snug, I put them back in the box and say thanks. As I begin to walk away he leads me to another table saying "I have these" as he points to a suped-up disco looking black shoe. I stare at him for a moment, I'm sure my jaw dropped a bit, lean forward and say "biz-ness-shoe!" and thank him for his time.

I drive to another shopping center where a store sells nothing but, the shoes I tried to buy in the dept store. The salesperson smiles, tells me how nicely dressed I am, shows me what's on sale, reminds me that the sale ends in a couple of days, and asks my size. She says, "I think we've got that size and width in a few styles. I know you need a business shoe. Have a seat while I check the store room." She comes out with a box, right shoe, right size. Before I try it on she says "If it's too snug, we can order the right size and deliver it to your home in 3 days....would that be ok?". The shoe angels sang! The shoe fit, so I'm wearing it.

The salesperson handed me her card, packed my old shoes away, offered to assist me in any way she could, smiled a few more times, asked me to come again, and said " If we don't meet again, may you have a wonderful life." Not a merely good night...a wonderful life!!! And, she was serious!

The department store had no shoes and offered no service.

The specialty store had some shoes and provided service. And, I probably paid a bit more. In an economy that sucks, retailers need all the sales they can get. The formula isn't that complicated.

Amazing!

Mistakes Aren't Important. What You Do Afterward is What Really Counts!

Do you really think the people in your life, whether in business or your personal life, expect you to be perfect....always? You do? If they've told you that, then maybe you should get some new people in your life. Or, maybe you need to gain a more realistic understanding of what's expected of you.

"No one's perfect!". Boy, is that ever true. So, is your ego so big that you actually believe you can or should be......perfect? Or, do you simply believe so strongly that you should be perfect for those who rely on you that anything less would be an injustice to them?! Either way, that's a pretty big load to carry. And, carrying that weight tends to create difficulties in accepting when a mistake has really been made. I mean, if a person is so hell bent on not making mistakes, not doing what they are built to do, which is sometimes to be imperfect, then their ability to accept an error would likely be distorted, as well. And, that inability often leads to a further challenge or lack of interest in identifing or recognizing simple errors.

Mistakes aren't really important. What's matters most is the steps you take, or don't take, after you realize you made an error. Now, I'm not talking about mamouth errors, where lives could be at stake or where the world might fall off its axis. In those cases, different rules apply. I'm talking about the everyday minor toe-stepping type of seemingly little errors that happen all day long....the ones where a simple acknowledgement and apology suffice to resolve the issue for all eternity.

And, that's usually all it takes.....a simple acknowledgement, an apology that's equal in size and importance to the offense (short and simple when you step on someone's toe; lengthy, sincere, and accompanied by lots of flowers when you forget your wife's birthday or tape over your wedding video!).

Remember that relationships are like that old dentist commercial "Ignore your teeth and they'll go away!" Well, the same is true of relationships. Ignore other people's feelings and your relationships will go away. The same is not true with errors. By ignoring the mistakes you make, they won't go away but, your relationships might! That kind of stuff hangs around for a long time. People have long memories, especially when they feel that someone has negatively affected them or been insensitive. What...just because no one is talking about it, you think you're safe and that you got away with not having to acknowledge your mistake or apologize for it? Guess again, genius!

What's the big deal? I mean, why do so many people have such an incredibly hard time admitting an error and expressing an apology? Admitting an error is not a negative commentary on you as a person? It doesn't suggest that you're weak or inept. It only means that you're human and normal. In fact, offering an apology is a positive statement on you as a person. It says that you are self aware, aware of others, truly concerned about how you might affect others, and that their feelings are important to you. So, the mistake doesn't define you. What you do AFTER the mistake does define you!

"But, what if your action wasn't a mistake? What if, even after the occurrence, you believed that your action was 100% correct, and that given the same circumstance you'd perform in precisely the same manner again? And, what if, given those assumptions, someone in your universe, whether business or in your personal life, felt wronged? Should you lie for the sake of the relationship and apologize, when you feel like you did the right thing? Wouldn't that be worse? Two wrongs don't make a right? Hell no! Here's where we go to a higher standard.

If you take action that is the right one, and someone else gets hurt in the process, why can't you feel solid in the action you took, commit yourself to do it again if necessary because it was truly the right thing to do, and still be considerate of the person who was negatively impacted? In a personal situation, a simple expression of concern for that person's feelings will often go a long way? In a business setting, an admission of the error and an apology for how your action impacted others carries a lot of weight.

Here's an equally large problem. Many people don't apologize, they just explain. "I know that you feel bad BUT, here's why I did it. And, now that you understand (intellectually) why I did it, you shouldn't feel bad (emotionally) anymore. So, everything's fixed now, right? ". WRONG! Or, they blame others for their mistake. Yuck! With either of the above, your situation could quickly go from bad to either "I want a divorce!" or "We're firing your firm and hiring one that cares more about us than themselves!"

Let's face it, whatever the reason, when someone is negatively impacted by our actions (don't forget that people work at companies, and our actions affect them, their careers, and others), do they really care FIRST about why we screwed up? Or, is it something else? Of course it is! People want to be understood, heard, and valued, whether in a personal or business setting. If you're not important enough for me to take into account how my actions impact you, then perhaps we don't fit well together.

So, what's the solution? ACKNOWLEDGE AND APOLOGIZE! If not for your actions, then separate your actions from how they impacted others, and apologize to those people for how they were effected. Acknowledge that they were negatively affected, that you recognize that fact, that how they feel is important to you, that you don't want them to feel that way now or ever again, and that you want to find a solution that makes them feel better. If, your actions were warranted and might have to be repeated again, don't explain first. Resolve that persons emotional response to your actions first. Once that person sees that you really care, only then can you begin to address the foundational issue of the action itself, your reasons behind it, and devise a solution for the future. Perhaps more frequent communications, advanced notice, or an entirely new approach would avoid future misunderstandings.

People aren't perfect...they're human, and humans make mistakes. So, join the human race already! Accept responsibility for your errors, acknowledge them, apologize, devise a solution, and move on. And, be happy!

Mistakes aren't important. What you do afterward really counts!