You Want a Friend? Get a Dog! But, Use Your Interviewer's Time Carefully!

In a job interview, both you and the interviewer are there for only one reason... to assess your applicability for the executive position at hand. Use the interviewer's time, and yours, very carefully. Unless you're applying for a position in sales or customer service, don't waste the interviewer's time trying to make friends. Personality is important in almost every career position. But, given the stiff competition that currently exists for executive positions of almost every shape and size, your main objective is to get to the true benefits the company would derive by hiring you.

I'm not suggesting that you act like a robot or be devoid of wit and warmth. But, too many executives mistakenly believe that interviews are personality contests. If you happen to find a real connection between you and the interviewer, that could certainly help break the ice. But, absent that, trying to make the interviewer take a liking to you is a waste of time.

The interviewer is not there to make friends and neither are you. Spending time in an interview trying to "buddy up" is a cheesey trick. It shows bad form and suggests that you may be a weak candidate seeking to cover-up your deficiencies. Moreover, what would happen if you were the best qualified for a particular position but, spent too much time playing Mister Personality, and either didn't demonstrate your experience and abilities or the interviewer didn't like you?

Get to the point (Read "Advancing Your Career May Be As Easy As Telling a Joke in Reverse!"). If you have limited time and can demonstrate only one trait in addition to your qualifications, make it confidence, trust, creativity, or conciseness. After you've convinced the interviewer that you're best qualified to help his / her company accomplish its objectives, then turn on the charm.
Good luck!

Did You Really Expect to Land that Job by Sending an Email?

Email is passive. Most people aren't email addicts, like me, who focus on answering their clients' emails within minutes of receiving them. The phone only weighs ounces, not 500 pounds! Any form of communication other than a conversation between humans [and mental telepathy] is passive and risks delay, being forgotten or completely ignored, and basically risks your message not getting across and your not achieving your desired results.

Whether you're seeking a job interview or offering a service or product for sale, look at it this way: A question asked in a telephone conversation usually gets an immediate response, not necessarily an answer but, a response. An email permits the reader to do any one of a number of things, such as:

* Never read your email
* Delete your email
* Decide to read it later
* Scan it quickly and decide to read the details later
* Read it and not respond
* Read it in detail and respond to it later
* Read it and respond to part of it upon receipt or later
* Respond to all of it upon receipt
* And, more....

Here's the important part about email communications. Since most of the above alternative reactions permit the reader to get back to you at a later date, email communication can be much less intrusive on the recipient than a phone call. And, because you probably don't want to be too pushy by interrupting people, you'd rather not be intrusive....right? Well, then by sending email instead of calling, you are sending a message to your email recipients that you do not need a timely reply, that your communication to them may be of a casual nature, that it may not even be important, and if they don't respond to you...at all...it's ok! If that's the nature of your communication, then email away!

When you were employed as an executive in your last position, those employees, service providers, business partners, and others who reported to you probably watched carefully for every email you sent them, lest they be fired for non-responsiveness. When you sent an email, they replied...completely and quickly...right? It is also likely that your peers and maybe even your superiors were focused on the emails you sent and replied in a reasonable time frame. So, you're used to email being an effective, efficient, and timely tool that got the job done.

Unless you're in the midst of an intense project with a group of people who send and receive a steady stream of emails, email as a communications tool is passive. Email permits people to choose to respond, to choose when and how to respond, to choose not to respond, or not choose at all.

Think about all the other obstacles that could keep you from receiving a response to your email, including:

* Your email gets caught in the recipient's spam filter
* The recipient mistakenly deleted your email and didn't know it
* Like dialing one wrong number when placing a telephone call, you misspell the recipient's email address
* The recipient is out of town or unable to read email for an extended time period and sets your email to read on some future date
* The recipient doesn't read his or her own emails and has them reviewed and prioritized by an assistance (this is happening more and more)
* Trust me, there's more!

So, if people receive an email from you, they'll likely assume that you're in no rush to receive their reply. And, they'll decide if, when, how, and in what detail they'll respond to you...that is, if they make any decisions about your email at all. I mean, if you're in no rush, why should they rush to respond to you, right? They've got lives, families, careers, and things to do, too.

So, if you need an answer, PICK-UP THE PHONE! What are you so afraid of? Someone will say "no" or worse, hang-up on you? Look at it this way, if the person you call says they won't help you, aren't you better off hearing it now, right away, then waiting for days, weeks, or months, and after sending multiple emails and wondering when you'd hear from them? Hey, even if they do hang-up on you (which few people would likely do, unless you're an obnoxious so-and-so), at least you'll know where you stand with that person and you'll know to no longer waste your energy on them.

Email is passive. If you need an answer quickly, pick-up the phone or meet face-to-face. Good-luck!

Stop Being Negative!

Nobody wants to listen to anyone else crying about how bad their business is, how hard it is to find a job, or comments from those who make neutral statements about how challenging the economy is. WE ALL KNOW THAT! Stopt talking about it.

Stop being a sad sack. Get over yourself and get to work! Work two or three times as hard as you did two years ago, and stop crying about it. If bad things happen, deal with it then! Be prepared for them but, don't invite them into your life or your business by focusing so much on them. The universe sends back what you send into it....many times, in multiples.

Use your resources to generate positive energy. Good things don't just happen. Good things are created! So, wash off the negative vibes and go create a positive future!

Congratulations, President Obama

Dear President Obama:

Congratulations on becoming President of our great nation!

A number of people have told me that I should have voted for you, and that you will bring substantial and lasting change to our country. Please don't make them out to be liars. And, please, PLEASE, prove me wrong!

Congratulations again! Good luck to you and to our country!

No Shoes, No Service

Amazing! So, I walk into the men's shoe department of a nationally-known department store. 6 customers, 1 salesperson. I wait a moment, and the salesperson runs past me and asks how he can help me. I tell him the brand of shoe I want (big wide feet, need a certain type for comfort!), and then tell him I need a plain boring black traditional lace-up business shoe, you know, wing tips, or something really exciting like that. He points me to a suped-up disco looking black shoe. I say "That's nice but, I really need just a plan boring traditional business shoe." I tell him the size I need. "I don't have anything that large" he says. I tell hm the width I need. "We don't carry that width", looking slightly annoyed. "But, let me look."

The salesperson brings out two boxes. One is a suped-up disco looking black shoe...boy, that seems familiar. I look at him and say "Business shoe" and I open the other box, which to my surprise, contains a pair of boring black business shoes....wrong size! I try them on, their too snug, I put them back in the box and say thanks. As I begin to walk away he leads me to another table saying "I have these" as he points to a suped-up disco looking black shoe. I stare at him for a moment, I'm sure my jaw dropped a bit, lean forward and say "biz-ness-shoe!" and thank him for his time.

I drive to another shopping center where a store sells nothing but, the shoes I tried to buy in the dept store. The salesperson smiles, tells me how nicely dressed I am, shows me what's on sale, reminds me that the sale ends in a couple of days, and asks my size. She says, "I think we've got that size and width in a few styles. I know you need a business shoe. Have a seat while I check the store room." She comes out with a box, right shoe, right size. Before I try it on she says "If it's too snug, we can order the right size and deliver it to your home in 3 days....would that be ok?". The shoe angels sang! The shoe fit, so I'm wearing it.

The salesperson handed me her card, packed my old shoes away, offered to assist me in any way she could, smiled a few more times, asked me to come again, and said " If we don't meet again, may you have a wonderful life." Not a merely good night...a wonderful life!!! And, she was serious!

The department store had no shoes and offered no service.

The specialty store had some shoes and provided service. And, I probably paid a bit more. In an economy that sucks, retailers need all the sales they can get. The formula isn't that complicated.

Amazing!

Mistakes Aren't Important. What You Do Afterward is What Really Counts!

Do you really think the people in your life, whether in business or your personal life, expect you to be perfect....always? You do? If they've told you that, then maybe you should get some new people in your life. Or, maybe you need to gain a more realistic understanding of what's expected of you.

"No one's perfect!". Boy, is that ever true. So, is your ego so big that you actually believe you can or should be......perfect? Or, do you simply believe so strongly that you should be perfect for those who rely on you that anything less would be an injustice to them?! Either way, that's a pretty big load to carry. And, carrying that weight tends to create difficulties in accepting when a mistake has really been made. I mean, if a person is so hell bent on not making mistakes, not doing what they are built to do, which is sometimes to be imperfect, then their ability to accept an error would likely be distorted, as well. And, that inability often leads to a further challenge or lack of interest in identifing or recognizing simple errors.

Mistakes aren't really important. What's matters most is the steps you take, or don't take, after you realize you made an error. Now, I'm not talking about mamouth errors, where lives could be at stake or where the world might fall off its axis. In those cases, different rules apply. I'm talking about the everyday minor toe-stepping type of seemingly little errors that happen all day long....the ones where a simple acknowledgement and apology suffice to resolve the issue for all eternity.

And, that's usually all it takes.....a simple acknowledgement, an apology that's equal in size and importance to the offense (short and simple when you step on someone's toe; lengthy, sincere, and accompanied by lots of flowers when you forget your wife's birthday or tape over your wedding video!).

Remember that relationships are like that old dentist commercial "Ignore your teeth and they'll go away!" Well, the same is true of relationships. Ignore other people's feelings and your relationships will go away. The same is not true with errors. By ignoring the mistakes you make, they won't go away but, your relationships might! That kind of stuff hangs around for a long time. People have long memories, especially when they feel that someone has negatively affected them or been insensitive. What...just because no one is talking about it, you think you're safe and that you got away with not having to acknowledge your mistake or apologize for it? Guess again, genius!

What's the big deal? I mean, why do so many people have such an incredibly hard time admitting an error and expressing an apology? Admitting an error is not a negative commentary on you as a person? It doesn't suggest that you're weak or inept. It only means that you're human and normal. In fact, offering an apology is a positive statement on you as a person. It says that you are self aware, aware of others, truly concerned about how you might affect others, and that their feelings are important to you. So, the mistake doesn't define you. What you do AFTER the mistake does define you!

"But, what if your action wasn't a mistake? What if, even after the occurrence, you believed that your action was 100% correct, and that given the same circumstance you'd perform in precisely the same manner again? And, what if, given those assumptions, someone in your universe, whether business or in your personal life, felt wronged? Should you lie for the sake of the relationship and apologize, when you feel like you did the right thing? Wouldn't that be worse? Two wrongs don't make a right? Hell no! Here's where we go to a higher standard.

If you take action that is the right one, and someone else gets hurt in the process, why can't you feel solid in the action you took, commit yourself to do it again if necessary because it was truly the right thing to do, and still be considerate of the person who was negatively impacted? In a personal situation, a simple expression of concern for that person's feelings will often go a long way? In a business setting, an admission of the error and an apology for how your action impacted others carries a lot of weight.

Here's an equally large problem. Many people don't apologize, they just explain. "I know that you feel bad BUT, here's why I did it. And, now that you understand (intellectually) why I did it, you shouldn't feel bad (emotionally) anymore. So, everything's fixed now, right? ". WRONG! Or, they blame others for their mistake. Yuck! With either of the above, your situation could quickly go from bad to either "I want a divorce!" or "We're firing your firm and hiring one that cares more about us than themselves!"

Let's face it, whatever the reason, when someone is negatively impacted by our actions (don't forget that people work at companies, and our actions affect them, their careers, and others), do they really care FIRST about why we screwed up? Or, is it something else? Of course it is! People want to be understood, heard, and valued, whether in a personal or business setting. If you're not important enough for me to take into account how my actions impact you, then perhaps we don't fit well together.

So, what's the solution? ACKNOWLEDGE AND APOLOGIZE! If not for your actions, then separate your actions from how they impacted others, and apologize to those people for how they were effected. Acknowledge that they were negatively affected, that you recognize that fact, that how they feel is important to you, that you don't want them to feel that way now or ever again, and that you want to find a solution that makes them feel better. If, your actions were warranted and might have to be repeated again, don't explain first. Resolve that persons emotional response to your actions first. Once that person sees that you really care, only then can you begin to address the foundational issue of the action itself, your reasons behind it, and devise a solution for the future. Perhaps more frequent communications, advanced notice, or an entirely new approach would avoid future misunderstandings.

People aren't perfect...they're human, and humans make mistakes. So, join the human race already! Accept responsibility for your errors, acknowledge them, apologize, devise a solution, and move on. And, be happy!

Mistakes aren't important. What you do afterward really counts!

The Cone of Silence, Chaos (KAOS), and the Smartest Person in the Room - Part Two

So, have you thought about my question? Do you still consider yourself to be the smartest person in the room?

NEWS FLASH! You actually may not be the smartest person in the room, and I’m pretty darned sure that, I'm not, either. Now we’re talking! In the realization that you are not the smartest person in the room lays opportunity! In most cases, the people who are smarter than you have something you don't....and, the good ones are likely willing to share their ideas and thoughts with you. After all, why have all those smarts if not to demonstrate that they exist, right?!

The lady standing next to you in the room probably knows something you don’t. The guy across the table knows something you haven’t considered. The woman sitting next to him knows something he hasn’t heard before. They may not all be university graduates or senior executives but, they all know something. And, that something may be just what you need, an idea; a bit of historical data; a theory; a new approach; a twist on an old concept; a seemingly crazy, far-out, or wild-assed idea….something that you haven’t yet considered or maybe, what you’ve already forgotten.

But, it’s there for you to tap into. That knowledge, that wisdom, those smarts, that are better, deeper, or broader than those you already possess are within your reach and available to excell you further than you could go without them. You see, when a person believes that they are the smartest person in the room, that belief, that one seemingly minor error, in and of itself, suggests that that person isn’t…..the smartest person in the room. What’s more, such a mistake can cause you to miss a very important opportunity…your chance to acquire knowledge from others, to capitalize on what they know, to build on their experiences, to learn more, to become better at whatever you do….to better serve others and to become an even greater success!

Ask yourself: "Do I know EVERYTHING?" That’s an easy one. Then, as you begin to feel a bit humbled, ask yourself "Do I know everything I need to know to accomplish my objective?" If you answer "Yes", try again, and remind yourself that someone somewhere knows something you don’t. And THAT something could be the key ingredient in accomplishing your mission, for yourself and for others.

The most successful leaders I’ve met have been some incredibly quick-minded and intelligent people. Others have been some pretty regular folks. Among the most common traits threse truly smart people possess is the humility and the realization that their knowledge and experience created greater results when augmented by what other smarter people knew. Eachone knew that if they actually were the smartest person in the room, their accomplishments and their ultimate success would be limited by what they did not know.

So, during the course of their careers and their lives, they decided to Get Smart, by sharing their knowledge with, and learning from, others. In order to achieve more, those smart people typically sought out others with more experience, more knowledge, more expertise….more smarts. The interesting point here is that those from whom they learned were not necessarily the most educated or those who were perceived as being the most accomplished. Sometimes, they were just regular people who possessed specific intellectual capital.

So, what’s your best move? Accept that, while you may be pretty intelligent, you are not likely the smartest person in the room, or at least you shouldn’t be. If you really are the smartest one there, then go to another room, or find people who truly are smarter than you and who can help you accomplish more with what they know. If that means you must find your own Agent 99 then, go get her!

Your best bet will be to ditch the Cone of Silence, get dumb, then Get Smart, and excel further than your own smarts alone can take you!

Let me know how you do.